I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize