is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
