pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
