allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
