How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
