Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
