we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
