ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize