I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
