But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
