Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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