the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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