Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
