At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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