Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We don't watch enough power rangers
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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