He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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