her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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