what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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