omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
