hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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