i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
two words...techno handjob
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
