I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
