She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize