handjob tips. give me some.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
