I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
