are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize