Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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