I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
