I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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