we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
