I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
