No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
