Nicole vs. Life
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
