my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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