Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
