Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
