I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
