Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
