butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
