I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
