What a fucking waste of an outfit
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
