woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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