we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
