Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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