Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
where are you?
Hypothermia
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize