When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
