Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
