let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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