Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
