I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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