Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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