I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
