help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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