3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
