so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Success! We fucked roommates!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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