She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
