today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize