i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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