I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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