I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
