I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
