You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
