I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
