yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
