thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize