the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
