kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
