The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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