Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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