R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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