Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize