butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
